Literary agents! Save time when considering a manuscript by not bothering to read it at all. Instead, set two beetles to race across the front page - one, a crippled, three-legged blind beetle named 'Accept', the other a steroid-taking model of beetle athleticism, wearing the very best beetle roller-skates, being pulled by a team of 16 beetle-sized horses and called 'Destroy Every Dream This Man Ever Had'. Whichever beetle wins decides the fate of the author. For a full set of rules and a licence to play (patent pending), write to sobbing, separated, newly alcoholic, chain-smoking man, 38, on pills for his nerves. Box no 3524.
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