In Bromley, because, once again, our branch in Crystal Palace is closed with a handwritten sign on the door complaining of 'unforeseen circumstances'. There is only one counter open and the queue has been stationary for several minutes.
It's always the same, says a well spoken lady behind me. It's the same in Marks and Spencer's, as soon as there's a downturn they get rid of the staff who do the work.
A young man grumbles in agreement.
Have you voted? the lady asks him.
Nah, waste of time, he says.
Oh no! You should vote, it's your right. People have died for you to have the right to vote, she tells him.
I suppose you're right, he says. Who did you vote for? if you don't mind me asking.
I don't mind at all, I voted Conservative, she tells him. Oh I know David Cameron went to a posh school, but really, do we want an ignoramus running the country, I don't think so and you see, she continues, my father, who was a working man all his life always used to say to me, Never forget, the Labour Party are no good with money.
The young man nods in agreement and sucks his teeth.
So there you have it; this shit that we find ourselves in, these circumstances that were unforeseen, it's all the fault of the *socialist* bankers. It must be.
Meanwhile we are still in a queue and I can feel my beard growing.