Yesterday I went for a swim and then did one of the things that I most dislike other people doing to me. I went for a saunter down Lordship Lane in East Dulwich, which even though I live nearby, and have for over 20 years, I hadn't explored for some time. Man, I said to myself, I remember when all of this was desert as I wandered in and out of the many and various new shops and posh delis - all the while talking on my mobile phone. Yet I needn't have worried about the phone thing as, around these parts, it now appears to be standard behavior. Obligatory even. And mayonnaise. If you ever need mayonnaise, then this is the place to be. There must be more mayonnaise and sourdough bread outlets in this half mile of road than anywhere else in the world. Tsk, in my day a 3 day old white sliced and a jar of Co-Op own brand salad cream was just about the best you could hope for.
I paused at a new (to me) German bakery and took my place at the back of the beautiful people queue. Eventually, when, having first been ignored, it was my turn, I pointed at a loaf and asked what it was - as in, what flour was it made from? To which the answer was, part wholemeal, part rye sourdough, or something, but, and here's the thing, the woman serving me looked me up and down and said, BUT IT IS THREE POUNDS A LOAF.
So there you go. I clearly have the look about me of a man who can't afford to pay £3.00 for a loaf of bread.
Later, I was back at the shop when one of my favourite customers came in and spent £47.60. If you saw her - scruffy, long straggly grey hair, beaten up shopping trolley, swears at the other customers if they get in her way - you would definitely think her only purpose in visiting us (as I once did) would be to shoplift the Martina Cole's (if we stocked them). Not a bit of it. Yesterday she bought a book on herbs, a book on magic and an £18.00 hardback book on baseball. Another time, my friend Geoff who deals in comics looked on in astonishment as she came up to the counter with a hardback copy of The Ten Cent Plague: The Great Comic Book Scare and How it Changed America by David Hajdu.
You don't get too many books on baseball in this country, do you, she said to me as she handed me her cash.
No, you don't, I said.
You could do with some more books on the occult, she said.
I could, I said, I'll get some in.
She put the books in her trolley and left quickly dragging it behind her, almost knee-capping a gent browsing the greetings cards.