Central Cycle and Auto Stores.

I am sitting in the dentist's chair.

So, a bookseller? he says.

Yeush, I say.

You have a bookshop?

Yeush, I say

How is that these days?

Ishokauy, I say.

What with everybody switching over to electronic devices.

Owsh, I say

Everthing going digital, he says.

Owsh, I say again.

He pokes around some more.

I mean, how is that going to impact on your business? Do you have a strategy for it?

Shubb, I say.

It is fucking agony.


Henry Bones

So long as he didn't ask "Is it safe? Is it safe?" Or is it only me who has Laurence Olivier for a dentist?


I'm okay, I have a female dentist, but she does tell me off if she sees I have trainers on and no socks.

The Poet Laura-eate

If only dentists could go digital!


Henry - I rest my case, Marathon Man in the internet age would be a fifty yard dash.


Martin, I don't know about you, but I think I would be worried about a dentist who takes too much interest in my feet.

Laura, if you find a site where I can download a free gold crown I would be grateful. I don't mind looking like Goldie, but I think it's unlikely that I'll ever be an alternative *national treasure*.


Everyone's an expert, eh? I blame the X Factor, it has validated the nation.

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